Interior Bathroom Design Tips

Instructor Certification in Ft Myers Florida 2011

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmvQQnBR0zvCcMgTlaN8qh6bezGHwTe8QLT_RPCVbWbuOyG_cfKIXSR00d9wCDipc2HM8jV3TkxgYb4VTHQr_u5NlOqlNiYXJ50oDAORjG3INvDdGOzfVVw98alQq7Z69W0k-XqFj5zICg/s1600/RADICALNEW+copy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="125" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmvQQnBR0zvCcMgTlaN8qh6bezGHwTe8QLT_RPCVbWbuOyG_cfKIXSR00d9wCDipc2HM8jV3TkxgYb4VTHQr_u5NlOqlNiYXJ50oDAORjG3INvDdGOzfVVw98alQq7Z69W0k-XqFj5zICg/s200/RADICALNEW+copy.gif" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Radical Program for<br /> High School Students</td></tr></tbody></table> <div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">GATE America, is proud to announce Instructor Certification Training January 10-14, 2011 in Fort Myers Florida. Hosted by the Lee Memorial Health Systems. This course will allow attendees to be certified instructors of the Gang Awareness Training Education Curriculum's. Once certified, instructors can deliver the drug, gang and violence prevention/intervention curriculum to their target audiences. The GATE curriculum's include three distinct programs. <strong>GATE Kids</strong> for K -4th grade<strong>, GATE</strong> grades 5-8 and <strong>RADICAL</strong> a high school program. These programs are in use and can be used in urban, suburban and rural communities. They have also been utilized in youth clinical settings involving juvenile offenders on probation and residential settings. </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2OQd9FFKJi7ZJkldAEpkIZTK1q2yKJO4GURye8FUavYjlkJH3Vb0uctOiVRJ9og6-rBlH01f8xJtfC9-FykmZHmuCaIVf9ui_DAdDjNv5ONjLF32lQburTIqiv9sMb_C_MxzSVQOId1M/s1600/Ft_Myers_Florida_Map.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="151" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2OQd9FFKJi7ZJkldAEpkIZTK1q2yKJO4GURye8FUavYjlkJH3Vb0uctOiVRJ9og6-rBlH01f8xJtfC9-FykmZHmuCaIVf9ui_DAdDjNv5ONjLF32lQburTIqiv9sMb_C_MxzSVQOId1M/s200/Ft_Myers_Florida_Map.gif" width="200" /></a>For more information about the program, to register or learn about the program follow the <a href="http://www.openthegate.org/le/cert">link</a></div>

Instructor Certification in Ft Myers Florida 2011

Radical Program for High School Students GATE America, is proud to announce Instructor Certification Training January 10-14, 2011 in Fo...

9:00 AM

Rites of Passage – Into manhood or a jail cell

<div>  </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">How many times have you heard the following story or a similar one to it? ABC News reports that a fifteen-year-old male lead police on a car chase through the city streets today. The teen struck multiple cars and exceeded 100 miles per hour during the chase. The teen crashed the car, which was stolen into a building and was caught after a brief foot chase with police. Witnesses at the scene stated the teen was smiling almost gleefully as he commented, “Now I am a man, I got my first felony!” Although his actions are target and his attitude reprehensible, it is not uncommon of many of today’s youths. The lack of rites-of-passage available to today’s youths contributes to at-risk behaviors as youths grow from childhood to adult hood. Rites of passage are steps, rituals, cultural or possible religious procedure or ceremony, which marks the passage from on stage of life to the next.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">In the early 1980’s criminal justice experts stated that as youths mature in today’s society a new era of crime would be unleashed upon society. The so called experts believed that with overcrowded prison systems, inadequate schools, lack of social services and the increased availability of firearms would be a melting pot waiting to boil over as the juveniles grew into adulthood. It would appear true with the events that unfolded in the 1990s, if they were closely examined.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">In short, a wave of gang-related drive by shootings terrorized inner city neighborhoods all over the country. These gang-related events became commonplace, almost daily occurrences on the television news with younger and younger offenders and victims appearing. In Chicago, in the mid - 1990s a almost horrifically unbelievable act of human deprivation could be shown when two brothers dropped to his death a boy from 15 story low income housing project in the Chicago Housing Authority. The youths were attempting to rob the young boy of his candy. When he did not turn it over, they dropped him out of the window. The victim’s younger brother witnessed this and ran down the steps in the futile attempt to catch his brother.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">In the later part of the 1990s, we as society saw a new phenomenon appear in rural suburban America. Commonplace in the city, but in the heartland it began to resound the bell of death, school shootings. From the 1993 shooting at a Luby’s restaurant in suburban Texas, to rural American youth’s with “problems”, picking up guns and shooting their classmates, friends and even their teachers. The depravity continued across the nation, the names ingrained into our memories of Paducah, Kentucky; Jonesboro, Arkansas. In Jonesboro, two boys ages 11 and 13 opened fire in military fashion on their classmates killing five people, including a teacher, injuring scores of others. The coup-de-grace was the military precision assault of a high school in Littleton Colorado, where 12 students and one teacher were killed before the offenders, students as well committed suicide. One would think that America’s youth are all obsessed with death. Some may simply as some experts believe, obsessed with bullying. Some may even view bullying as one of their rites-of-passage.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">However, it is the belief that the vast majority of these events and the ones that have not been mentioned may be the very result of youths lacking certain rituals, procedures or events that bring youths into adulthood without harming others. In every culture, religion and race across the world rites of passage for their people exist. These rites-of-passage, some of which are universal across all cultures, others are culturally specific. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzEoazbBr_4cv9VT3yl13r1jLpq3H9qCH10jqHhBglobCYH36L12Xzs1wMud-YkZ34hKLRthIOgxY77FsedaoUGMug7TVZU_BF_Q3_gWWmhAyP5vfhnokjbPR1Uzx3RrQ1xToUrZ3oGsZJ/s1600/ritesofpassage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzEoazbBr_4cv9VT3yl13r1jLpq3H9qCH10jqHhBglobCYH36L12Xzs1wMud-YkZ34hKLRthIOgxY77FsedaoUGMug7TVZU_BF_Q3_gWWmhAyP5vfhnokjbPR1Uzx3RrQ1xToUrZ3oGsZJ/s320/ritesofpassage.jpg" width="320" /></a>Rites-of-passage could be extremely simple in small display or painfully time consuming, detailed and intricate. The value is not in the event itself, but in how the participants partake upon the rite-of-passage. Many adults automatically view teenagers as rude, obnoxious, and discourteous. Of noted interest, the same people are also repeatedly heard that “children live what they learn,” but they never apply it to their own attitudes towards teenagers. For example, an eight year old who proudly pays for his purchase with money he has saved, only to have that change handed to his father. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">An example of an extremely intricate rite-of-passage is the Japanese Tea Ceremony. This tradition passed down from one family member to another over centuries is so intricate that they very observance of the ceremony is more pleasurable than the actual sipping of the tea.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIjc04kYvD40JezORvf7XyYJwzALekksTTp5Lr-_KAdudMdiRqZe9fVJ9OIgeyIlp1RaDFRuhw0lmbnW49UlKCXSmBjo_NmSQewkN-pv2RXhCYpRfMYPIyrBal6fL0y_S86e3Ug9Ss-wdQ/s1600/japanese-tea-ceremony.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIjc04kYvD40JezORvf7XyYJwzALekksTTp5Lr-_KAdudMdiRqZe9fVJ9OIgeyIlp1RaDFRuhw0lmbnW49UlKCXSmBjo_NmSQewkN-pv2RXhCYpRfMYPIyrBal6fL0y_S86e3Ug9Ss-wdQ/s200/japanese-tea-ceremony.jpg" width="200" /></a>Other examples of rites of passage, less refined as the Japanese Tea Ceremony, would be learning to play catch, or taking time alone with your father or mother to learn to catch a ball. Many would say how is that a rite-of-passage? It is a rite-of-passage in its simplest form. It is a young person going through trial and error guided by a trusted adult, sometimes frustrated, upset, and angry and mad, only to know triumph, pleasure, confidence and pride when the mastery of the catch is made. To observe the pride and joy in their mother or father’s eyes, reminding them that their child is growing up.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoEqtYN-Sev34KfS9FM2oHC-mpprUusLwiXPLjeBmikYvsWbSTZxFp0FwJPKaU8NmXsi87BDCAt_rKtLQLcAghT_oBDbtuuFXE0RhDoBVs5hwo-IbTcrSGgAZ2x0LIK8yaG1wDXcHWpE-U/s1600/bike+ride.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoEqtYN-Sev34KfS9FM2oHC-mpprUusLwiXPLjeBmikYvsWbSTZxFp0FwJPKaU8NmXsi87BDCAt_rKtLQLcAghT_oBDbtuuFXE0RhDoBVs5hwo-IbTcrSGgAZ2x0LIK8yaG1wDXcHWpE-U/s200/bike+ride.jpg" width="200" /></a>A story comes to mind; children’s story from the Franklin the Turtle Series. In the story, Franklin’s bicycle has training wheels, along with all of his friends. To Franklin’s amazement, his friends all begin to learn to ride their bicycles without their training wheels. Franklin decides to try himself and fails. So upset is Franklin that instead of asking for help, Franklin becomes, angry, withdrawn and makes every excuse not to ride his bicycle with the training wheels out of embarrassment. However, Franklin’s mother notices this and tells Franklin that not everything is as easy as it appears to some people. Franklin’s mother reminds Franklin that he can swim very well, but Fox cannot. She reminds him that Fox, can hit a baseball very far, but Bear cannot. Therefore, Franklin with coaxing form his mother gets upon his bicycle and with his mothers, help begins to pedal. After each fall, he gets right back up and eventually he rides without his training wheels. He feels triumph, jubilant and proud over his new found skills. Franklin learned this particularly simple rite-of-passage taught him many lessons. It taught him to rely on his parents for guidance and help. It taught him never to give up. It also taught him that by facing his fears he could overcome them.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Yet, many youths do not have those simple rites-of-passage in their lives. It could be that their parents are all too busy and have little time for simple interactions and life-lessons like the ones previously mentioned. It may possibly be that today’s youth have learned through their immediate access world are those things that they value, regardless if the perceived value and the real value of that rite-of-passage are not the same.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPABnFjJIxqYtV2vDEbqRLDzaW5kvSOMWXFRgDIn0JxhehUiqDenE5xrssFBrnIlLI8fDlrpS7Imlo4u4j7IFlKVavJFfjfI9QH0hcifnKiJmPF5ApgIbfiHuCkMcfoLL7wJhIWvs1oB-g/s1600/baithook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPABnFjJIxqYtV2vDEbqRLDzaW5kvSOMWXFRgDIn0JxhehUiqDenE5xrssFBrnIlLI8fDlrpS7Imlo4u4j7IFlKVavJFfjfI9QH0hcifnKiJmPF5ApgIbfiHuCkMcfoLL7wJhIWvs1oB-g/s200/baithook.jpg" width="200" /></a>Many years ago during wartime, military recruits would get tattoos as a sign of their manhood and entry into adult society. Today’s youth may also view tattoos in a similar light without the toughening of war or death to guide them. Body modifications, piercing or tattooing is becoming increasingly common and accepted in society. Carrol has found that thirteen percent of adolescents age 12 to 18 have tattoos. According to present research, possession of amateur tattoos seems to be associated with increases in dissatisfaction with the tattoo, problem behavior and lower academic performance. What was discovered was that those youths who had tattoos or piercing at an earlier age were a much greater risk of rising drug or other types of at-risk behavior than those without tattoos.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Adolescents, who had tattoos, were 32% higher on the Gateway Drug Index, if they had a tattoo before 16 years of age. [ Carrol ] As their research delved deeper, it found that in areas such as suicide, violence, risky sexual behavior were all increased dramatically because of the receipt of a tattoo or piercing at an early age. To further hammer the argument home, Carrol’s research also found that the later in life some received a tattoo or piercing the lower the risk level for Gateway Drugs, Suicide, Violence and risky sexual behavior. This would seem to indicate that because youth may be using tattoos as a rite-of-passage instead of ones that might be more substance based, and as a result placing them at increased risk for other behaviors that can be detrimental to their health.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">The family has always been toted around as a sure sign of the future health of a child. If they family is dysfunctional, or perhaps distracted in some way, today’s youths are more likely to become involved in damaging behaviors particularly those associated with alcohol, drugs, sexual activity and pregnancy. The debate these points may encompass a completely new direction for this article.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">However, it is known that along with these pressures, young people lack guidance and support. Their path into adulthood can be described as one of isolation. How often have we heard parents of a way-word child say, “He hasn’t found his path…” “…Maybe it just not his thing.” During these times of isolated behavior emerges that is risk taking. The need to develop self-esteem and inquiring minds among youths is necessary. Martin & Martin related five characteristics of an effective adolescent.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><ol><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;">Effective adolescents are intellectually reflective persons who have developing thinking skills. They are able to express themselves in persuasive, coherent writing as well as verbally; they know the basic vocabulary of the arts, math and sciences and have learned to appreciate a variety of cultures and languages.</div></li><li style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;">Meaningful work. Work is an integral part of a person’s identity. The youths must be knowledgeable about career options. High school graduation is a prerequisite, as well as post-secondary education.</div></li><li><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Adolescents will be good citizens. Taking responsibility for shaping our world. We need to develop children who are doers, not just sub servers – those that can demonstrate their commitment to their own character, their community and their schools. It is hope that they will understand the basic values of our nation and have appreciation for both the western and non-western worlds.</div></li><li><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Adolescents will be caring individuals who are able to think clearly and critically, and act ethically. Our youth must recognize that there is a difference between right and wrong, and must have the courage to act on their convictions. They will model values that have been associated with good family development – including integrity, tolerance and appreciation of others.</div></li><li><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Our youth will understand the correlation between exercise, diet and health. These provide a sense of competence and strength. We must help our youth become proficient because success is directly related to self-image. The effective adolescent will appreciate personal strengths and work to overcome weaknesses.</div></li></ol><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">In today’s society, adolescents are growing into adulthood alienated from others and with low expectations of themselves. In the troubling times of today’s world, there is a greater likelihood that they will become unhealthy, addicted, violent or chronically poor. Of more important note, youth from more affluent communities are displaying similar problems. Students are dropping out of school, or participating at minimal levels, in staggering numbers. If these youths graduate, they have few marketable skills and equally dismaying is that their parents are not demanding that they acquire these skills.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">In recent years the affluent have seen their children delivery into at-risk type behavior in greater numbers. Parents in affluent homes send mixed messages, their lives are too demanding and at the same time because of their affluence, the parents do not see the need of their troubled teenagers. When these problems do hit home, parent’s reaction is often shock or dismay.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Consequently, families that are less advantaged in struggling to make a living do not have the time to build family relationships. In a time of great change, many parents are confused about their roles and relationships and are less aware of the new temptations faced by their adolescents.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Further research into the rites-of-passage in traditional cultures that as children grow up and pass through adolescents to adulthood, that the spiritual side of their life is highly important. Virtually every re-industrialize culture provides rites of initiation, led by adults, who help young people, navigate the dangerous waters between childhood and adulthood. Without such rites, today’s teenagers have created their own badges of adulthood – from driver’s licenses, proms, and graduation ceremonies to the dangerous rituals of binge drinking, first baby or first jail sentence [Kessler].<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">What has been found that as youth violence spreads across lines of geography, class and race and as society witnesses each devastating school yard massacre, educators are asking urgent questions about what could be the underlying cause in the development of conscience in our students? The bonds that transmit basic human values from elders to the young are unraveling and rending, when children are not bonded to caring adults, conscience fails to develop and the transmission of values is distorted or aborted [Kessler].<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Because there are such a variety of meaningful rituals or rites-of-passage, such as confirmations, bar mitzvah, La Quinceaera ceremonies in the Mexican community or initiation journeys offered by Buddhist and African American communities, most of our youth today have no opportunity to be guided by responsible adults through the adolescent journey. Kessler warns that the consequences are significant: Because of the unhappy loss of this kind of initiatory experience, the modern world suffers a kind of spiritual poverty and a lack of community. Young people are feared for their world and dangerous energy, which is really an unending longing for initiation.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Young people as they grow into adult hood have “raging hormones”, although dismissed by many experts, these powerful feeling if improperly directed might result in depression or violence. If however, adolescents are guided by, caring responsible adults, young people can develop with character, compassion and the capacity to make decisions that serve their own growth and the health of the community.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Looking at the principles and practices that are common to initiation in many cultures, we see that a rite of passage is a structured process, guided by adults, in which young people learn the following:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><ul><li><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">become conscious about the irrevocable transition that they are undergoing;</div></li><li><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Are given tools for making transitions and separations;</div></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;">Are initiated into the new capacities required for their next step; and.</div></li><li><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">Are acknowledged by the community of adults, as well as by their peers, for their courage and strength in taking that step. [Kessler]</div></li></ul><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">In the African American culture the homicide rate for black youths ages 15 to 25 jumped from 96.2 per 100,000 in 1984 to 14.8 in 1989, the rate for white youths the same age rose from 11.2 per 100,000 in 1984 to 12.8 in 1989 [National Center for Health Statistics, 1994]. In comparison to the risk factors that contribute to these dramatic differences in rates for black and white youths, African American youths in general use alcohol and drugs far less than white youths, although substance abuse is epidemic in poor black neighborhoods [Harvey & Rauch]. <br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">As research continued into why youths had such dramatic statistical increases in violence, suicide and risky sexual behavior among the African American community, it was believed that the inability to engage or even successfully complete a rite-of-passage could be a contributor to at-risk behavior. As a way to address problems within the African American culture, social workers began looking into ways to address the health issues, found that in order to address the problems, it was found that cultural incapability, biased by the dominant group is superior and is paternalistic toward populations perceived as inferior. [Harvey & Rauch].<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">It was found that the African concept of life is transitional. Among the African community rites of passage are used to show transition and provide a guide to adulthood. The African community guided youths over periods of times to provide them with the necessary skills to adulthood. In the African American culture, these skills were lost among their culture, leaving whole groups of youths without any guidance towards adulthood. A program called MAAT, which is a play on the Egyptian word Ma at, which means ethical way of life, uses a nine-month rites-of-passage for African American youth to transition from childhood to adulthood. The program stresses parent and caretaker involvement. This is an attempt to bring back the “it takes a village to raise a child” concept so popularized in the 1990’s. The results of this program are not yet known as it is still too early to tell long term benefits, but the very attempt of such strength based program must surely illicit positive results.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">In conclusion, within every culture there are rites-of-passage to be performed. Without these rites-of-passage many young people lose sight of their culture, their background and their own identity. This lack of identity, which builds self-esteem, character, values, morals based on the particular young person’s own culture is paramount to their very development. In the last several decades, we have seen a blending or a neutering of many cultures to the point where it is almost impossible to tell for some young people that the loss of this is a contributing factor. The lack of rites-of-passage available to today’s youths, contribute to at-risk behaviors as youths grow from childhood to adulthood. </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div><br /><div></div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div>

Rites of Passage – Into manhood or a jail cell

How many times have you heard the following story or a similar one to it? ABC News reports that a fifteen-year-old male lead police on a ...

8:00 AM

What motivates you in Law Enforcement?

<strong><em><span style="font-size: x-small;">Written by Sgt. Robert Tornabene</span></em></strong><br /><br /><br />In over the period of nineteen months I authored a newsletter for our patrol officers and supervisors as a training tool. My goal was to spark some thought, develop some personnel and inspire others about our commitment to the vocation of law enforcement.  But as I began gathering information for an edition of the newsletter, which is titled "Beyond the Stop", it became apparent that my motivations for providing this newsletter were irrelevant to the officers. <br /><br />For those officers in my department who have seen the roll call videos on officer safety, particularly the Sean Hannity video about the increase in attacks on officers. In particular those attacks at the later half of last year and into the beginning of 2010, you know how serious I take each and everyone’s safety here. My goal, each shift is to send my officer home safely to their  family and loved ones, as should every supervisors.<br /><br />Yet with difficult times facing all of us, either financially, personally or the recent issues facing the department asa whole professionally we all have a responsibilities. When I began to write this newsletter it was a really dreary day, wet,rainy and cold. Not exactly the type of weather that makes a person feel happy or want to be outside in it, I recall a comment that one of your asked me, how do you stay motivated. I don't need to reference who the officer was, just simply that the question was asked. My answer was not a simple one. But I will try to paraphrase it for simplicity sake. Everyone get’sfrustrated at times, difficulty is part of life and yet I must continue. My father surprised me one day with some simple philosophy.<br /><br />I was having a discussion with my father and talking about the cold and crappy weather we have been experiencing. My father related a fact about the month of March that had an entirely different spin on it for me. He said, “March has the largest number of temperature swings in it than any other month.” When I heard that I paused and realized, “Wow, from my dad that is an almost philosophical statement.” My dad is not much of a deep thinker, but in my dad’s own way he was telling me that it will get better. We know it will be warmer, soon, with rain, comes cleaner roads, greener grass and eventually warmer and sunny weather.<br /><br />Back to the question that one of my officer's posed, I turn to a comment that I have sitting on my desk near my kids picture, it is by Albert Einstein. “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” Since the day I read that line it has been a center piece to keep me looking forward. In times when we are all faced with tough financial times, family stresses, personal health issues or professional angst we need to look towards living our values in our lives. <br /><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN-b18yM-_hoFy9HB9gvPNewke5buR5YMm_lcLzU1JN6Vq_yxaFrOMAO0x8Yfjr-0itLenhs4fd2Xby90AuHKjeQK7Cj6DLvYy9uj4Q-7c86RAF4VS3Mi7-KHrxNk6JDPnH8ssgZ6ypU2y/s1600/chicago-police%252520car.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN-b18yM-_hoFy9HB9gvPNewke5buR5YMm_lcLzU1JN6Vq_yxaFrOMAO0x8Yfjr-0itLenhs4fd2Xby90AuHKjeQK7Cj6DLvYy9uj4Q-7c86RAF4VS3Mi7-KHrxNk6JDPnH8ssgZ6ypU2y/s1600/chicago-police%252520car.jpg" /></a>In today’s very competitive world, whether it in the private sector or public sector how can I succeed where there are so many factors influencing my success that I can not control. What do I mean when I talk about values, most of us think moralistic values—trust, integrity, accountability. But we have moved away from pragmatic values—customer service, innovation, performance. But values no matter which ones you pick are meaningless if you do not live up to them.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">In the digitally connected hyper paced world we live in, what we say we stand for or what we say we do are without value if we do not set ourselves apart in how we do our profession. How we communicate, how we interact and how we treat others is what will set you apart from others. Being a Police Officer is a profession. Each and everyone of us chose this profession for one reason or another. One factor is for sure that becoming rich off of this profession was not a motivator. Why you chose this profession is a personal issue for you, but some of the common reasons include, “enjoy helping others.”, “making a difference”, “you wanted to serve” etc. The great thing about this profession and it is a profession is why you chose it does not matter, but rather because you chose it that makes you special, in comparison to others in society.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Setting yourself apart is a key value in your own psyche whether you believe so or not. However, continuing to be that person you were when you chose this profession is an entirely different thing. For those of you who have tested from other departments, you know the stress there is in having to take another psychological examination. Many candidates who are already law enforcement officer’s at another agency do not typically pass another psychological test, particularly after being on the job for an extended period of time. Why? Because your personality changes, you become jaded and influenced by the experiences you have, the tragedy, disappointments and outrage that you experience in your day to day interactions. As a result, you have been forever, irrevocably changed.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Still not sure, think of this! What are your answers to the following questions? When you go out to a restaurant, who sits with the back to the door? You or your spouse? How often do you catch yourself sizing up people when you encounter them, looking for weapons, signs of recognition, or threatening behavior? Do you find yourself hanging out with only law enforcement type people as friends? These are just some of the indicators to say that you have changed. It is not to say it is because there is something wrong with you. Simply that you are a different person, flavored by changes that were influenced by the type of profession that you are in.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">We again experienced another line of duty death on November 26, 2010 in Chicago Police Officer Michael Flisk. Ofc. Flisk was a evidence technician processing a crime scene from burglary when he and  a retired Housing Authority Officer (the burglary victim) were shot and killed. This is the fifth officer killed in the line of duty in just six months.  But to recall another officer who died this year Chicago Police Sergeant Haymaker. Here is a man, who had strong religious beliefs, strong family ties and strong community roots. I wanted to relate a story about Sgt. Haymaker as it was related by a Commander from the Chicago Police Department. Sgt. Haymaker was a supervisor on a call of a infant, new born located in a pile of trash, possibly an abandoned baby. Sgt. Haymaker, located a blanket for the now obviously dead baby and wrapped the baby in the blanket and transported the baby in his arms to the hospital. When the mother or family could not be located, Sgt. Haymaker through his church paid for and handled all the arrangements of the wake, funeral and burial of the baby. His compassion and reverence for life was extraordinary. Sgt. Haymaker didn’t have to do anything at all, but his humanity and his strong moral convictions brought Sgt. Haymaker to a high level of involvement! Sgt. Haymaker was truly putting a high value on his definition of service, the service to the infant’s soul.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">It is extremely easy to be positive and motivated when times are good, but when it seems that everything in life is not going well keeping that positive attitude is tough. Sometimes we need simple reminders, like the example my father gave me about the weather in March. At other times, it takes effort on your part to try and make the best of the situation at hand. Have you ever heard of “misery loves company?”. How true it is, when you are in bad situations and tough times, avoid being around those people who are simply going to “moan” and “groan” about what aches them. Negativity fuels the fire within everyone.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">When we are down or caught off guard it spreads like a virus. Imagery! When we were all in Field Training we all utilized imagery in going through our tasks, visualizing the activity. Such as how we are going to respond to a dangerous confrontation. Using your mind to help you over come those things that truly may not</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">matter can improve your outlook on life. For those who have been in sports or read about professional athletes, in order to overcome plateaus in your career or game you have to visualize the task and focus your mind and body on overcoming that obstacle. You can do the same thing with your law enforcement career as well.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Lists. Make a list of things you enjoy doing. This list is a personal listing of everything in your life that actually makes you feel good. For example, smiles on your children’s faces, mom’s homemade cooking, the time you made that really outstanding arrest. Go through your list and pick something off of the list that brings a smile to your face or makes you feel good about yourself. Then do it.</div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">When you look good your feel good. It is extremely important for you to always look as good as you can. One of the most important aspects of dealing with poor morale and self image in the military is to maintain a clean and healthy appearance. It is important to remain clean shaven, showered, hair groomed and styled, fingernails: cut, clipped or painted. Attention to your personal appearance helps you deal with difficult times.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Fitness! Physical fitness or activity is paramount to maintaining a strong healthy attitude. Exercise helps to dispel nervous energy, relax muscles and release valuable endorphins into the body which improves the mood. In addition, physical fitness or activity releases tension, reduces the risk to high blood pressure and heart attack. Get out and get active!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. If you have suggestions about improvements, special skills or knowledge that can improve your working environment then speak up. Make suggestions, offer to become involved in a particular aspect of what you are interested in. This not only makes you feel good about yourself in helping others, but it makes your job on day to day capacity much more interesting.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Those who see the end are immovable. They always have a light in the darkness. Sometimes the only difference between the incredible success and the failure is the ability to endure. Many times we have the right idea, the right plan and the right opportunity. But if we do not see it through, all the way to the end, we never know! We are left in that vague tormenting uncertainty, was the problem me or the problem the plan. We must always be ready to walk away from a bad plan. We need to know when it is time to quit. A bad </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">plan will never work regardless of how long we work hard at it. A person of character does not equate a bad plan with being a bad leader. Great leaders know when to walk away.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Do whatever it takes to keep your goal alive in your heart. The mark of a winner is not that he never falls or fails. He or she just keeps getting up. Maybe all you can do today is show up. But that’s better than any other option. The person who keeps showing up eventually shows up at the right place at the right time.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE0wmGTxHQwx-3AqXOYdtrpEz9NiHw-oAjDLBwPxtaD_ORL-XZGIjU_UmYPcrLCIXMnvzBLlK1Gvq8Sms-9WQD8aJO1X5twod_S2ksRjBzPvRp1M8wKhLm0JR7r6l5-2l8_PRTW6Cp6hrm/s1600/Chicago_police_car_horiz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE0wmGTxHQwx-3AqXOYdtrpEz9NiHw-oAjDLBwPxtaD_ORL-XZGIjU_UmYPcrLCIXMnvzBLlK1Gvq8Sms-9WQD8aJO1X5twod_S2ksRjBzPvRp1M8wKhLm0JR7r6l5-2l8_PRTW6Cp6hrm/s320/Chicago_police_car_horiz.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div>

What motivates you in Law Enforcement?

Written by Sgt. Robert Tornabene In over the period of nineteen months I authored a newsletter for our patrol officers and supervisors as a ...

5:15 PM

Police Suicide: Why don't we talk about it until it's too late!

<img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=gateamerica&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0979967600" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" /><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">By Robert Tornabene</span></strong><br />As law enforcement officers we are faced with physically and emotionally dangerous profession, we must also recognized that there are factors present that are unique to our environment that impact our ability as officers to successfully reflect on and report feelings that can lead to suicide. It is common for officers to distrust the administration and feel that there bosses to not care. Too often, when officers are encouraged to report situations in which they or their fellow officers are at an emotional crisis point, but then it appears as if the officer’s have been punished by being removed from duty, assigned to desk duty, or placed on medical leave.<br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL160_&ASIN=0979967600&tag=gateamerica" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Law Enforcement Families: The Ultimate Backup" border="0" src="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL160_&ASIN=0979967600&tag=gateamerica" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Add caption</td></tr></tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: right;"> <img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=gateamerica&l=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0979967600" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Law-Enforcement-Families-Ultimate-Backup/dp/0979967600?ie=UTF8&tag=gateamerica&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Law Enforcement Families: The Ultimate Backup</a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">It is easy to understand some of the issues impacting us as law enforcement officers about suicide. The heart of our very self concept identifies us as action-oriented people who are problem solvers. We do not perhaps, cannot perceive ourselves as individuals who have problems and consequently, when we find ourselves in our own personal crisis situations, we do not recognize or know how to handle them correctly. It is at that time that the perception of hopelessness and the belief that we have no other way out becomes pronounced. </div><br /><div></div>In addition to the issues we are faced with is the issue of how to deal with officers who are posed with the problem where do you get mental health resources to assist me in my difficulties. Most of us distrust mental health professional, doubt their sincerity and understanding of a law enforcement officer’s job and believe that they are the pipeline of privileged information back to the department administration. In any success is to come from an intervention program it requires us to successfully overcome these perceptions and express our feelings when the opportunity presents itself. Here at the Niles Police Department we are unique to have a resource of Niles Family Services staff, which has a law enforcement counseling background. <br /><br /><div></div>In these very difficult economic times, cold/flu season, the close proximity to the anniversary of Detective Champoulos’ death and the approach of the holidays can directly impact us much harder than we think. <br /><br /><div></div><strong>IDENTIFYING THE WARNING SIGNS</strong><br /><br /><div></div>There are a number of behaviors which normally serve as warning signs for any officer under extreme stress, including: <br /><br /><div></div><ul><li>expressed feelings of sexual inadequacy, impotence or dysfunction;</li><li>an increase in citizen complaints;</li><li>a sudden and extreme change in personality, for example, the officer who is normally loud and expressive, becomes the next day withdrawn and quiet</li><li>an increase in complaints by fellow officers and</li><li>an increase in on-duty accidents or worker compensation claims.</li></ul><br /><div></div>The above warning signs are on top of those signs which may manifest themselves through off-duty behavior as well. Officers who are reflecting prolonged grief or depression; those who may begin or are giving away possession, discussing their funeral plans or newly write wills or those who face anniversary of a significant emotional event (either professional or personal). Many of us as officers who may be feeling this way may also express helplessness in situations including their home life. The officer may begin to withdraw from colleagues, friends and family members. What should raise concern for our fellow officers is when these clear personal circumstances begin to appear: pronounced alcohol or substance abuse; major internal or criminal investigations, which might result in arrest, termination or severe disciplinary action; upheaval in an officer’s personal relationships, history of psychological problems or financial difficulties, in some cases extreme difficulty.<br /><br /><div></div>As fellow officer’s in blue, when we see our brothers and sisters experiencing these difficulties it should be considered your responsibility to bring it to attention of the administration or try to assist the officers to seek help. Many times, the officer’s who are contemplating suicide will begin to show “leakage”, it is at those times we, those officer’s around him or her must be able to see the “leakage” and act accordingly to get them the help they need.<br /><br /><div></div>Management must also be prepared to act formally and informally to support the identification of the officer’s problem and be willing to address those problems. It is imperative that as administrators, that we not only have to be firm authoritarians but also compassionate and committed to helping our personnel. In these fiscally trying times, when budgets are already cut to the bone, creative methods by management might need to be used in order to address the manpower shortfall during this “department emergency.” The result if we fail to act, may be far more catastrophic to the overall health of the department, including productivity, sick leave and overall well being. <br /><br /><div></div>As officer and administrators we can not deny that police suicide is real. We have experienced it, we know it is real, the likelihood that it could reoccur is possible as well. If we remain silent when a fellow officer is in a crisis the results can be fatal. We must be able to recognize the issues that our fellow officers are faced with and know what we can do to get them the help they need.<br /><br /><div></div><strong><u>THE DIALOGUE</u></strong><br /><br /><div></div>Where to begin is many times the most common question you are faced with when trying to address a person whom you may feel is experiencing suicidal thoughts. Talking with the person in a non-judgmental, non-confrontational way can be the help a person needs to seek professional help. What is OK to discuss with someone who may be experiences these thoughts, or perhaps asking yourself if you are experiencing them as well. The following questions are OK to ask: <br /><br /><div></div><ul><li> "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" </li><li>"Have you decided how you are going to do it?" </li><li> "Have you thought about when you re going to commit suicide?" </li></ul>If they have answered yes to all of these, YOU CAN NOT WAIT. This person is in need of immediate help and you must act accordingly. <br /><br /><div></div>By asking these questions it will allow you to begin to assess if your fellow officer or friend is in immediate danger, and get help if needed. A suicidal person should see a doctor or mental health professional immediately, seeking professional help is imperative, waiting or allowing the officer you suspect is contemplating suicide to say, “I will see someone tomorrow.”, is not an option. Immediately bring this up to a fellow officer or to a supervisor. Take thoughts of or plans for suicide seriously.<br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>Never keep a plan for suicide a secret. Don’t worry about risking a friendship or the officer’s job if you truly feel a life is in danger. You have bigger things to worry about-someone’s life might be in danger! It is better to lose a relationship from violating a confidence than it is to go to a funeral. And most of the time they will come back and thank you for saving their life.</div><br /><div></div>Don't try to minimize problems or shame a person into changing their mind. Your opinion of a person's situation is irrelevant. Trying to convince a person suffering with a mental illness that it's not that bad, or that they have everything to live for may only increase their feelings of guilt and hopelessness. Reassure them that help is available, that depression is treatable, and that suicidal feelings are temporary. Life can get better!<br /><br /><div></div>If you feel the person isn't in immediate danger, acknowledge the pain as legitimate and offer to work together to get help. Make sure you follow through. This is one instance where you must be tenacious in your follow-up. Help find a doctor or a mental health professional, participate in making the first phone call, or go along to the first appointment. If you're in a position to help, don't assume that your persistence is unwanted or intrusive. Risking your feelings to help save a life is a risk worth taking.<br /><br /><div></div>If you are feeling stressed out and believe you are in need to of help consider the following, stress reducers: Exercise, meditation, martial arts, running or playing of a sport. Stay away from drinking of any alcohol or use of drugs or tobacco; although they may initially offer some form of comfort the effects have a negative effect both physically and emotionally.<br /><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_hBLyNlBifDOQos6FisqsmhdGl6tnOncMIaWlyWgjhON6aN5CTKAwpRSrT2zoMVt7ivUyyAkRI7h241arKldIcat7ELHz6lg9WJ5QtIa-5c_qFtl1wwdAzVp5TKscwAkj6vwcrpPWgkEK/s1600/sadsad1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_hBLyNlBifDOQos6FisqsmhdGl6tnOncMIaWlyWgjhON6aN5CTKAwpRSrT2zoMVt7ivUyyAkRI7h241arKldIcat7ELHz6lg9WJ5QtIa-5c_qFtl1wwdAzVp5TKscwAkj6vwcrpPWgkEK/s1600/sadsad1.jpg" /></a> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Seeking professional help to talk about your problems, many officers feel that this will result in them being removed from duty, but the benefits of working through the emotional issues that you are faced with outweigh the very minute chance that you will be removed from duty. Consider writing your feeling down, "journaling" is a form of self help. By places those emotions on paper you are expressing them, in some fashion like speaking to a counselor. In addition, you may re-read those words and begin to see that you indeed do need help and will seek the appropriate help for your issues. If you have withdrawn from your friends and family, reach out to them, begin to reestablish your social life. It is important if not imperative; the human being is not a solitary animal. We are societal in nature, we have to belong to and interact with someone and something, so get involved. Volunteerism is an outstanding way for you to work through issues of isolation and emotional stress. Helping of others has a desired impact on the brain and the releasing of endorphins which can greatly enhance your emotional state. </div><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Nothing that is outlined in this awareness paper should in any way be considered an alternative to professional help, but with the anniversary of Tommy’s death passing and the rapid approach of the holidays we should consider that there are members of a family in blue that are in trouble and need our help. I am sure that there is not an officer here who wants to experience what we experienced with Tom’s passing. Look to your right and left in roll call and think could they need help? Do I need help? Does the boss need help? Then act!</div><br />In memory of Det. Tom Champolous EOW 4/8/2005<br /><div></div>

Police Suicide: Why don't we talk about it until it's too late!

By Robert Tornabene As law enforcement officers we are faced with physically and emotionally dangerous profession, we must also recognized t...

2:29 PM

a friday flower...& all things english...

<b><i>well snow has hit england...the temperatures have dropped...the kiddos are anticipating a drive to "anywhere" to build snowmen with their grandparents this weekend...& i couldn't love the onset of winter any more!</i></b><br />the lead up to christmas blessed with snow...<br />whether we will get it in our front garden {like last year}...we just don't know yet...<br />but us aussie's here have our fingers {& toes} crossed big time...!<br />i don't think we've reached much above *0* all day...the least we are due with this cold snap, is a little lovely snow...!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRa1eJILHYta7kcCCI9Ptd7F8cAFZqf8q4zBv-FCUd9q9Di-EEBJZy6IrHEdBhUbGax8XGj6DXeiAn40pL21hdQm98k8vZMDYMHMUpMdPQnsQ4UFAFpnisGDottVjR5Qe8fXFyZy0wpff_/s1600/laura1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRa1eJILHYta7kcCCI9Ptd7F8cAFZqf8q4zBv-FCUd9q9Di-EEBJZy6IrHEdBhUbGax8XGj6DXeiAn40pL21hdQm98k8vZMDYMHMUpMdPQnsQ4UFAFpnisGDottVjR5Qe8fXFyZy0wpff_/s400/laura1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><b><i>so with my love of all things white & english today...i want to send a *friday flower* to one of the loveliest english roses i have met...</i></b><br /><a href="http://aplacefortea.blogspot.com/">Laura from *a place for tea*</a>...she is my english travelling counterpart...<br />she is in the US of A....on the doorstep of NYC...<br /><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">&</span><i> </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">i</span><i> </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">am in her old stamping ground...</span></b><br /><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">i'm oohing & aahing over Robins...& holly...& storybook english scenes</span></b><br /><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">& thinking of her...</span></b><br /><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBaP4dGPT_1Da2oXq_al_Jqm_HZpcR-9psVE8PKd3m3vYnZw_C_fDVg1uoStBnmBov3AZS32AP1xcQPWolAK1GNDFb-RHT1EYz_arVJiXnrSjNj6JurB7JLlN5xx4dqedOfyQ-C8aYBcHQ/s1600/laura2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBaP4dGPT_1Da2oXq_al_Jqm_HZpcR-9psVE8PKd3m3vYnZw_C_fDVg1uoStBnmBov3AZS32AP1xcQPWolAK1GNDFb-RHT1EYz_arVJiXnrSjNj6JurB7JLlN5xx4dqedOfyQ-C8aYBcHQ/s400/laura2.jpeg" width="266" /></a></div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b><br /><b><i>my folks are arriving in the morning...</i></b><br /><b><i>& Laura, in new jersey, has her mum visiting from england...</i></b><br />we both know how precious these times are...<br />living away from home...from the country you know...the people you love...<br />it gives you a wonderfully simple perspective on life & a love for living in *other* ways...<br />so in thanks to her...for being my on-line *living-abroad-with-kiddos* partner...<br />for being a friend...a true friend & kindred spirit...<br />a wonderful mother...& an inspiration to *leap* into all that living abroad has to offer...<br />i want to say thank you with my english roses...<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiglDRFyr7GamptxlW_hLU9X8kqa3B0HwupbtpGwj9S07MFQoCpCSxElRRxRSnBrYTBDCnuRwaTNHgY210neRAdzGnHRmGJqM2Vorjs0rHMcInrFdcycfb2YHimxRuSSYmdRQ-I-lzWlvqe/s1600/laura3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiglDRFyr7GamptxlW_hLU9X8kqa3B0HwupbtpGwj9S07MFQoCpCSxElRRxRSnBrYTBDCnuRwaTNHgY210neRAdzGnHRmGJqM2Vorjs0rHMcInrFdcycfb2YHimxRuSSYmdRQ-I-lzWlvqe/s400/laura3.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><b><i>i have a gorgeous british bestie...</i></b><br /><b><i>who lives at the other end of our village...</i></b><br />i adore her sense of humour & wit...<br />i adore her love for england & life in general...<br />& you remind me of her...<br />{i can't imagine a day without her in it}<br />perhaps thats why, when i stumbled upon your blog, i knew we'd be friends...<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QM7WBc7w8Q7ygQfmnGwe4tBNX2IAImMUMU7EHVcLXX9U2OyIy8IsokQLTrDNE2_DZXwNRomI7_nXq2dn6HTw3-J_T0lTBr_3cdfvgHFFEhauGPU8lJAy4uFaHLn45dU_QAunq6Tn4PEi/s1600/laura5.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QM7WBc7w8Q7ygQfmnGwe4tBNX2IAImMUMU7EHVcLXX9U2OyIy8IsokQLTrDNE2_DZXwNRomI7_nXq2dn6HTw3-J_T0lTBr_3cdfvgHFFEhauGPU8lJAy4uFaHLn45dU_QAunq6Tn4PEi/s400/laura5.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">happy friday lovely friend</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">can you see the reindeer antlers i stuck in the roses for you?</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">i didn't have a *robin*</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">but </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">i did have a funny looking branch </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">that i have been pulling out every year since </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">we dusted the sand off our feet </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">& arrived in this english countryside</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">it absolutely reminds us of deer in scotland</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">but more err....tree like!</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">the robin's almost in the post!!</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79; font-size: x-small;">xoxox</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">so...if you love an english rose</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">a cup of endless tea</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">or</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">a glass of wine</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">&</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">want a little moment on the doorstep of NYC</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">go have a chat with <a href="http://aplacefortea.blogspot.com/">laura</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">...she's lovely...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">~~~~~</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;">if you'd like to send someone a virtual *friday flower*</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;">link up below</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;">& </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;">introduce us to someone who is part of your day</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><br /><b><i><br /></i></b><br /><script src="http://www.linkytools.com/picturecaption_linky_include.aspx?id=58494" type="text/javascript"></script>

*a friday flower*...& all things english...

well snow has hit england...the temperatures have dropped...the kiddos are anticipating a drive to "anywhere" to build snowmen wit...

3:07 PM

How important is Appearance to your Teen? More important than you might think!

A report published in the Fall 2010 edition of Adolescence was conducted by Baylor University. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The research found that teen-aged boys are more likely to use tanning booths, take diet pills and have their bodies waxed, even if they think these activities are unhealthy. If the teen is influenced by their peers. <br /><br /><br /><br />The research, showed that boys ages 12-17 focused on how their skin appears to others—tone, texture and color—than on other aspects of their appearance, including body shape, when they are influenced by peers. Dr. Jay You, an assistant professor of fashion marketing at Baylor University found “I studied what kids are teased about, “you said, “If anyone looks different, people tease you. Probably boys who have acne would become really self-conscious. <br /><br />While skin tone specifically tanned skin once was associated with blue color, “a tan now is considered a sign of the leisure class. “says Yoo.<br /><br /><br /><br />The report further puts into perspective that as the availability of over-the-counter diet pills and media presentations of those products may make adolescents think taking them is the norm.<br /><br /><br /><br />According to Yoo, they may view being slim as healthy, while being overweight is viewed as unhealthy, taking diet pills is merely considered as a means to achieve slimness.<br /><br /><br /><br />According to young the use of tanning booths, waxing skin and spa treatments suggests that appearance conscious youths may share a wide range of information and experiences.<br /><br /><br /><br />You theorizes that because little research has been conducted on adolescent appearance, it is at this very age of adolescence when they develop shopping patterns and appearance, and those who engage in risky behavior continue into adulthood.

How important is Appearance to your Teen? More important than you might think!

A report published in the Fall 2010 edition of Adolescence was conducted by Baylor University. The research found that teen-aged boys are mo...

9:00 AM

Quick Tips To Creating A Cosy Guest Room

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_50cUwPg0slM/TNSN_i2mJsI/AAAAAAAAHKo/kEe5I3gJz7Q/s400/alcove-curtains-bedroom-1110-Rivers05-deBRM.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_50cUwPg0slM/TNSN_i2mJsI/AAAAAAAAHKo/kEe5I3gJz7Q/s400/alcove-curtains-bedroom-1110-Rivers05-deBRM.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 313px; height: 400px;" /></a><br />Creating a guest room is easy, but to really make it comfortable you have to have something for everyone. The bed and whatnot are important, but the idea that you've specifically made a room 'just for them' can be a deal breaker on your guests staying with you again. Even the pickiest person can sleep well with the black out curtains or blinds in place and properly chosen duvet covers bedding.<br /><br />Once you have taken care of the sleepy guests, the bored ones are still waiting for some attention. Accessories are important. You might add a book shelf, along with matching tables to put their books on so that when they get ready to rest, there's a place to put them other than the floor!<br /><br />The addition of a television is essential for those who find it hard to sleep! It doesn't have to be large, but a good one is required. If you have all of this the last thing to be considered is extra <a href=http://www.terrysfabrics.co.uk/cat/bedding/quality/cheap-bed-linen/>cheap bed linen</a> and blankets, and of course making sure that they have extra pillows just in case. A good night's sleep will be so simple in this room with it's comfortable bed and black out window treatments, TV and a good book on the night stand. <br /><br />You and your guests will enjoy their stay with these ideas implemented and you will be able to rest easy knowing that you worked hard to make their visit enjoyable.<br /><br />Image: A Life's Design

Quick Tips To Creating A Cosy Guest Room

Creating a guest room is easy, but to really make it comfortable you have to have something for everyone. The bed and whatnot are important,...

2:59 AM

a virtual vino...& catching up together...

<b><i>you know i looove fridays...especially *this* one with my folks arriving from oz...</i></b><br />but i also looove tuesdays, thanks to my gorgeous friend <a href="http://amyluckynumber13.blogspot.com/">amy...</a><br />she hosts a *hell of a morning tea*...<br />&<br />i know she's always up for a glass of vino or two on *special* days like ...<a href="http://tenontenphotojournal.blogspot.com/">*ten on ten*</a>...<br />so i'm going to <i>assume</i> she's ok with me turning up <i>a little late</i> with a bottle of gorgeous NZ white under my arm...<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigxkPRV-bKxG388bLGC6EhgJxAMhgL6uukUjxlK26lyjd2A_yNnRgUv75HOMtr4VLFwIQBZGggLrVjL-SloNuqmbw7A3AdEA21I3DjkAsQZbmJwWIN1jMBa3UhgPkfcBkTFC-fQ5WvfkvD/s1600/cofe1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigxkPRV-bKxG388bLGC6EhgJxAMhgL6uukUjxlK26lyjd2A_yNnRgUv75HOMtr4VLFwIQBZGggLrVjL-SloNuqmbw7A3AdEA21I3DjkAsQZbmJwWIN1jMBa3UhgPkfcBkTFC-fQ5WvfkvD/s400/cofe1.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><br /><b><i>so...if we were really catching up for <s>coffee</s>...errr a glass of that lovely white together <s>today</s> tonight...</i></b><br />i would firstly pour you a big one...<br />we have a lot to talk about...& it's a tuesday...!<br />i would ask if your kiddos have written a *dear santa* letter yet...<br />i would love to ask for a little wee invite to see your christmas decorations box...<br />the one that if you are an american friend...would still be under the stairs 'till this weekend....<br />{happy thanksgiving to you & your families...x}<br />i would put you in my big lovely *<i>favourite & best* pink chair...</i><br /><i>{as i do every week for coffee}</i><br /><i></i>because you could see my fire from there...<br />well actually not <i>my fire exactly</i>...but my big gals fire...<br /><i>ella makes a *ripper* fire...</i><br />she's the girl you need on a camp-out...!<br />australian...fearless...gorgeous...& she lights a <i>cracking fire</i>...!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpHha33xk4iDxmlViwIeVyLbQJ39h5iF7jYNBhKr-R8Y8KAO9XjDtuP0iOnj1mpw0gkNr6KWXiQjXiRsU-LDsw2XHZMf0TUPyEHZUizB1v1-XaEqq92z5SZmCazkBo368ZZhXzubCc3_2H/s1600/cofe5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpHha33xk4iDxmlViwIeVyLbQJ39h5iF7jYNBhKr-R8Y8KAO9XjDtuP0iOnj1mpw0gkNr6KWXiQjXiRsU-LDsw2XHZMf0TUPyEHZUizB1v1-XaEqq92z5SZmCazkBo368ZZhXzubCc3_2H/s400/cofe5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><b><i>then i would tell you that i need to visit our village optometrist...!</i></b><br />i love the concept of very cool gorgeous smart looking chic glasses...<br />but really, the reality is i'd rather another pair of boots...preferably <i>fur-lined</i> as we are looking at 1 degrees for the remainder of the week...<br /><i>{just pouring you another lovely glass of NZ...}</i><br /><i>...where was i?...</i><br />oh yes the glasses thing....<br />anyway i'll get there when my mum arrives...<br /><i>doesn't matter how old you are...for some reason there are some things {like optometrist appointments} </i><br /><i>where the *wise words* of your mother are needed to snap you into action...</i><br /><i>& </i><i>then i would show you the beautiful photos i managed to frame...</i><br /><i>proving that i don't need glasses nearly as much as i need more warm boots...</i><br /><i><br /></i><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBC6nLa3gabfUena5ItcwKjocgl51i3vKMTp2jMgqIbUVC30n6o31XlZCnxtsjPtaXGeMbGvVZZmTKsJ9z9epgaWRmchdfg28B4pOKMMoJxDjCOm1bVPgNasgfmdKgABfRJRT8gNtRnuLA/s1600/cofe4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBC6nLa3gabfUena5ItcwKjocgl51i3vKMTp2jMgqIbUVC30n6o31XlZCnxtsjPtaXGeMbGvVZZmTKsJ9z9epgaWRmchdfg28B4pOKMMoJxDjCOm1bVPgNasgfmdKgABfRJRT8gNtRnuLA/s400/cofe4.jpg" width="267" /></a></div><i><br /></i><br /><i><b>i would also tell you that i've ordered our big ol'organic english turkey today...</b></i><br />last  year i was in hospital with a pretty bloody awful *felt-like-i-was-dying* case of pneumonnia...<br />&<br />ordered our <i>turkey</i> fairly late....needless to say...we haven't eaten turkey since this time last year....!<br />now <i>gorgeous hubster, dad & mum...if you are reading this...</i><br />i have us a lovely smaller *8 people* turkey...<br />so let's just skip <i>boxing day turkey smoothies this year...</i><br /><i><br /></i><br /><i><b>if we were really meeting for <s>coffee</s> a glass of wine at mine...i'd show you that i picked up a copy of  english *country living* for december today...</b></i><br />{what happened to my subscription copy i wonder...??}<br />heaven.heaven.heaven<br />what is it about magazines at this time of year...?<br />they can almost do no wrong...!<br />& as we sipped our wines i would tell you about an *<i>inspirational, on-line, mag* i have found...</i><br />& we would check out <a href="http://www.creaturecomfortsblog.com/gifted-magazine">the gorgeous *gifted* magazine</a> on my laptop...<br />whilst sitting in front of ella's fire...<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyWE5uf2z9sMy8wz7LCyTSsc0W8XjJfcUMQW6YVB5A4z3KYSwIQPEWhY295eUQa1X3mUEBxoZ_RwFLtJKazqTRZKbUmd8I2O9sOCH9jZzf_Uk2phY6mtfYKORKqWTkSwRV_LQy6FDPKJ_Q/s1600/cofe3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyWE5uf2z9sMy8wz7LCyTSsc0W8XjJfcUMQW6YVB5A4z3KYSwIQPEWhY295eUQa1X3mUEBxoZ_RwFLtJKazqTRZKbUmd8I2O9sOCH9jZzf_Uk2phY6mtfYKORKqWTkSwRV_LQy6FDPKJ_Q/s400/cofe3.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">& before i popped you in a cab</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>{as i absolutely do not encourage drink driving from my house}</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">i would propose a little toast to the gorgeous </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">kate middleton & her prince...william</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">who rang & asked *would we mind if they married on our littlest audrey's 6th birthday*</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">they are sooo considerate</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">&</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>audrey is always happy to share her birthday with a royal event</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>so we said we'd be delighted!</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">we can't make it to the official *do*</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">as our kids ALWAYS come first</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">but we will be celebrating with a royal theme</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">&</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">audrey will be our <i>princess on the day</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh63dcZV3lHrdPN2pRnUlJSAg-2Ou6DJpapO7W0ukslVpJHG9kMnUuWfDr5s9HnzwE9ZMhJNJdAsILCr4emMb9OVGrKohbMUEPxm0RDFXq3qLLGHOeF_vHbXw3OhrpdIKoApYFC8Trc3EX1/s1600/cofe9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh63dcZV3lHrdPN2pRnUlJSAg-2Ou6DJpapO7W0ukslVpJHG9kMnUuWfDr5s9HnzwE9ZMhJNJdAsILCr4emMb9OVGrKohbMUEPxm0RDFXq3qLLGHOeF_vHbXw3OhrpdIKoApYFC8Trc3EX1/s400/cofe9.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><i>so if we'd really just had two gorgeous hours together over a wine or two</i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><i>i think we'd have covered almost everything till next tuesdays *catch-up*</i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">&</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">i'd send you on your way with a special invite </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">*back to ours on april 29, 2011*</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>no pressure</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>just a little royal birthday loveliness to consider</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>~~~</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="http://amyluckynumber13.blogspot.com/">i just love a tuesday with your popping in!</a></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><b>here's your cab</b></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><b>see you next tuesday</b></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><b>a little earlier</b></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><b>&</b></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><b>with tea!</b></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><b>xox</b></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>

a virtual vino...& catching up together...

you know i looove fridays...especially *this* one with my folks arriving from oz... but i also looove tuesdays, thanks to my gorgeous friend...

2:56 PM

November Issue of the Gateway Gazette is Now Available!

November Issue of the Gateway Gazette is Now Available!

We are sorry about the delay about the November Issue. It is now available. Simply Follow this link . The Gateway Gazette is the E-zine news...

8:20 PM

Resiliency—The Lessons we must teach.

The anxiety that parents experience as children grow up is compounded each time their child experiences a set back or let down. This is further impacted by parents concern over how content, successful or happy their child is right now and believe that this is a foretelling of things to come. Because of this thought process parents are concerned about their child’s future quality of life when they see their child struggle at home, in school or socially.<br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Resilience and the "Resilient Mindset". Resilience is the capacity to deal successfully with the obstacles in the road that confronts us while maintaining their path towards life's goals. Early research has pointed to children who have experienced major adversity in their lives. But the new theory is that the concept of resilience can and should be applied to all children, that all children face different challenges in life and that the children who have developed what we call a "resilient mindset" will handle these challenges with greater effectiveness and success.<br /><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>It is important that we reinforce the mindset in today’s children. Research has shown that children with a resilient mindset view the world in an optimistic and hopeful way. <br /><br /><div></div>According to Dr Robert Brooks, They feel special and appreciated in the eyes of significant others. They have learned to set realistic goals and expectations for themselves. They believe that they have the ability to solve problems and make decisions and thus, are more likely to view mistakes, hardships, and obstacles as challenges to confront rather than as stressors to avoid. They rely on coping strategies that are growth-fostering rather than self-defeating. They are aware of their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, but they also recognize their strengths and talents. They are empathic and possess the skills to develop satisfying interpersonal skills. They are able to seek out assistance and nurturing in a comfortable manner. Very importantly, they are able to define what aspects of their life they have control over and to focus their energy and attention on these rather than on factors over which they have little, if any influence.<br /><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>A child’s parents play a significant role through positive impact on helping their children develop a resilient mindset, a mindset that impacts not only on their children's current functioning, but ultimately on their future success and happiness.<br /><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Dr. Robert Brooks and Dr. Sam Goldstein offer some important tips on developing resilience in children.<br /><br /><div></div><ol><li><strong>Teaching Empathy by Practicing Empathy</strong>. In order to develop resiliency in children them must be able to feel empathy, especially if they are going to communicate effectively and develop satisfies interpersonal relationships. Empathy is the ability to put oneself inside the shoes of another person and to see the world through that person's eyes. However, this sounds easy enough to understand in reality it is much harder to learn than one thinks, especially when emotions come into play. How do we teach our children empathy? We teach our children empathy when we listen closely to what they have to say, when we validate their statements, and when we say and do things in a way in which they will be most responsive to learning from us. We avoid preaching, lecturing, or offering comments that may be experienced as judgmental and accusatory. Guiding questions that we pose for ourselves are, "Would we want anyone to speak with us the way we are speaking with our children? How would our children describe us at this moment? How would we hope they described us?</li><li><strong>Teaching Responsibility by Encouraging Contributions. </strong>If children are to develop a feeling of accomplishment and pride, we must provide them with ample opportunities for assuming responsibilities, especially responsibilities that strengthen their belief that they are making a contribution to their home, school, or community environments. We have found that enlisting youngsters to use their "islands of competence" in such pursuits as tutoring younger children, painting murals on the wall of the school, watering plants, bringing messages to the office, or going on Walks for Hunger, helps them to feel that they are making a positive difference. This serves to reinforce their motivation and self-esteem as they witness concrete examples of their achievements.</li><li><strong>Teaching Decision-Making and Problem-Solving Skills and Reinforcing Self-Discipline. </strong>An essential component of resilience and high self-esteem is the belief that one has some control over what is occurring in one's life. To acquire this attitude of ownership, children require experiences from which they can learn and apply decision-making and problem-solving skills. We can encourage them to articulate problem areas, to think of possible solutions, to consider what solution might work best, to attempt that solution and to assess the results. This can be accomplished by involving children in discussions of how best to solve particular problems such as issues with friends, having them decide when and in what order to do their homework, having them consider ways to solve problems with a sibling or asking them to do research on a particular project. <br /><br />The use of problem solving skills can also be enlisted in the important process of discipline with the goal of promoting self-discipline. This is an important goal for all children, but perhaps even more so for impulsive youngsters who display limited use of self-discipline or self-control. One way we can accomplish this task is to obtain the input of children in the development of rules and consequences that affect their lives at home and at school (children are often more likely to remember and follow rules and develop self-control when they are involved within reason in participating in the creation of these rules and consequences). These kinds of activities empower children by reinforcing a sense of ownership, commitment, accountability, and self-discipline.</li><li><strong>Offering Encouragement and Positive Feedback. </strong>Resilience is nurtured when we convey realistic appreciation to children and help them to feel they are very special and important to us. By doing so important adults in their lives, that is, adults from whom children gather strength. Spending special time alone with our children, writing them a brief note of love or appreciation or hugging them are examples of this strategy. We might note that a number of youngsters, such as those with learning and attention problems, are frequently given the label special needs. While we recognize the importance of this label in securing services and funding, we also believe that we could use similar words on a banner that would appear on all of our homes and schools, namely, every child who enters these doors needs to feel special. </li><li><strong>Helping Children Deal with Mistakes.</strong> The fear of making mistakes and looking foolish is one of the strongest roadblocks to developing high self-esteem and resilience. Children are often vulnerable to feelings of defeat and are likely to retreat from tasks that may lead to failure. We must help our children realize that mistakes are an important ingredient in the process of learning. We can do this in various ways, such as responding to children's mistakes by showing them the correct way to solve a problem and not by saying such demeaning comments as, "Do you have any brains?" or "You never do anything right!" In the school setting, at the very beginning of the year before teachers have taught any lessons or given any work, they can introduce the topic of mistakes in the learning process.<br /><br />In the discussion teachers can share memories of their own anxieties about making mistakes when they were students and involve the class in a discussion about the best ways to insure that students not worry about making a mistake. Placing the issue about the fear of making mistakes out in the open typically serves to lessen its potency, thereby increasing opportunities for learning. </li></ol><br /><br /><div></div><br />In general, resilience is linked to a sense of optimism, ownership, and personal control. We need to believe in them and providing them with opportunities that reinforce their competence and feelings of self-worth. This becomes our gift to the next generation of young people.<br /><br /><div></div>

Resiliency—The Lessons we must teach.

The anxiety that parents experience as children grow up is compounded each time their child experiences a set back or let down. This is furt...

10:00 AM